logo180About a year ago, I found out about The Live Sincerely Project and I signed the pledge to live sincerely. It’s hard to believe it hasn’t even been a year, because it feels like this pledge has haunted me forever.

When I first signed it, I printed out a copy of the pledge and posted it to the bulletin board directly behind my computer so that I stare at it every day. Of course I don’t read it often, but I do glimpse that headline and it grips me. It glares at me accusingly – are you living your life to its fullest potential? Funny thing is, somewhere along the line my brain did this flip turning this beautiful pledge to be honest with myself, to respect myself and to not force myself to live a way which seems unnatural into some sort of “Dead Poet’s Society” pledge, vowing to “suck the marrow out of life.”

This weekend, I was contemplating some changes I’ve found myself in the midst of, mulling over some recent conversations, then today I wake up to realize it’s AA’s 78th birthday. All of this big, new-ness made me think of the Live Sincerely Pledge – how I had been avoiding it because I didn’t feel I was doing enough, and that perhaps this wind of change will bring out that life marrow for me so that I can proudly post my “Live Sincerely” picture online. So I went back to the website and re-read the pledge (you know, the one I have posted directly in front of my face daily).

I was talking to a friend recently who is feeling uncomfortable, like she’s in a rut, because she hasn’t been growing like she was a year ago. She’s got that nervous “when is the next shoe going to drop?” feeling that so many of us alcoholics who have worked diligently to ruin our lives often get when things are quiet. I asked her to consider if perhaps God’s just telling her she’s doing good as is & keep it up. After sitting with this same stifling “okay-ness” for the past two years or so, I definitely recognized the “that’s not comforting” look on her face. Somewhere along the line, though, I did learn that sometimes it’s okay to be okay; that I don’t have to be constantly growing, doing bigger, better, more!

I realize now that perhaps that “somewhere along the line” happened about a year ago when I signed this pledge. Even though my brain was still trying to crucify me on the marrow of life, my heart remembered the words and… wouldn’t you know? I HAVE been living sincerely all this time, without even realizing it. That little addict in my head is so sneaky, always trying to convince me that I am not doing enough. I know better though. Thank God for the quiet times in life when nothing is progressing and nothing is falling apart. Today, they remind me that I AM ENOUGH.

IMAG0404_BURST009-1-1

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Sociological Fragments

A blog offering excerpts of sociology-related texts.

"...write this..."

Reflections of a Preacher-Poet

roymartinministries

The Addict's Devotional

Queen of Free

Save Money & Slay Debt

A Walk on the Wild Side

For those who love addicts

365reasons2sober

My blog to help me stop drinking.

What...Me Sober?

Stumbling along the Middle Path, one day at a time.

As if, Emily.

Diary of a teenage hedonist.

themiracleisaroundthecorner

There are no coincidences.

The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Mished-up

Mixed-up, Mashed-up, Mished-up.

Guapola

Crazy is relative. Just ask my relatives. And music!

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

A Life Less Agitated...

Journeys, adventures, life, death, and finding my way

The Beggar's Bakery

"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread" - D. T. Niles

wonderfulshantelle

Another Kind of Perfect

unpickled.wordpress.com/

How I Secretly Quit My Secret Habit of Secretly Drinking

A Soul's Walk

Every day a soul must walk

Laurie Works

MA., NCC, RYT, Somatic Witch

My Healing Recovery

Healing from the inside

The Sober Journalist

A blog about quietly getting sober

Sober Courage

from liquid courage to sober courage

Sober Grace

Finding and practicing grace in recovery

My Story

A Place to be Mindful a Place to Heal

TRUDGING THROUGH THE FIRE

-Postcards from The Cauldron

Momastery

...all those things we don't talk about in polite society

Mended Musings

Healing, Feeling, Thriving

Jack's BED

And Jill came tumbling after...

As Jim Sees It

These are things I've learned staying Sober.

recoverymaldives

Memoir of a Maldivian drug addict in recovery

turkeyboneheaven

Survivor of Child Abuse - Member in Recovery

Expatriation was easier as a broke college student

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

borough of lost boys

creative non-fiction. pursuit of truth.

Friending Myself

A sobering journey to greater love. For me. By me.

Sober Identity

#Life Coach #50+ Years #Striving #Thriving #Emerge: Growing From Addiction-Starter's Guide" #AfterRehabCoaching

Life Corked

Living Life One Day At A Time

Dorothy Recovers

An evolving tale of a new life in recovery

oncenaddict.org

A Place for Those Affected by Addiction

%d bloggers like this: