Step 8

There are apparently a number of different schools of thought when it comes to working the steps. Some of them I understand and some of them I don’t. For instance, why would you spend all that time and effort writing out a personal inventory only to dispose of it before it can be of any real use to you? I had a sponsee come up to me once and proudly proclaim that she had set fire to her fourth step. After I picked my jaw and eyeballs up off the floor, I asked her what had possessed her to do such a thing. She responded that she had heard someone in a meeting say their sponsor had told them to do just that and it sounded like a great idea. Unfortunately, my sponsee learned all too early what it felt like to write a second fourth step inventory.

Folks, I can’t stress enough the importance of working with a sponsor. You can’t fix the shit in your head WITH the shit in your head. Hopefully you picked your sponsor because you like his or her program and want what he or she has. In order to get that, you have to do what he or she did, so you need to follow their particular guidance. You may not understand why they’ve got you doing things the way you’re doing them, but they see the bigger picture. All this advice here… yeah, I learned it all the hard way. Don’t be like me. Even if you don’t understand what’s going on, listening to your sponsor is by far the easier, softer way.

Enough with the PSA. On with the show. Simply put, step 8 is pretty much just a list of names. Thing is, most of the names for this list will be the same ones on our resentment list and the rest will be associated with the character defects we identified through the fourth step. If we threw out our inventory after our fifth step, then how do we know which character defects we need to ask God to take away in 6 & 7 or to whom we need to make amends in 8 & 9? Women, especially, are bad about harming people through our “people pleasing” and mothering instincts. If we aren’t conscious of what patterns of behavior we unveiled in step 4, then we will not be able to rectify the harms caused by those behaviors that aren’t typically identified as harmful and we will continue to harm others even as we attempt to help them.

“How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye?” – Matthew 7:4 (NIV)

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Sociological Fragments

A blog offering excerpts of sociology-related texts.

"...write this..."

Reflections of a Preacher-Poet

roymartinministries

The Addict's Devotional

Queen of Free

Save Money & Slay Debt

A Walk on the Wild Side

For those who love addicts

365reasons2sober

My blog to help me stop drinking.

What...Me Sober?

Stumbling along the Middle Path, one day at a time.

As if, Emily.

Diary of a teenage hedonist.

themiracleisaroundthecorner

There are no coincidences.

The Zombies Ate My Brains

Rescuing what might remain of the grey matter.

Mished-up

Mixed-up, Mashed-up, Mished-up.

Guapola

Crazy is relative. Just ask my relatives. And music!

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

A Life Less Agitated...

Journeys, adventures, life, death, and finding my way

The Beggar's Bakery

"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread" - D. T. Niles

wonderfulshantelle

Another Kind of Perfect

unpickled.wordpress.com/

How I Secretly Quit My Secret Habit of Secretly Drinking

A Soul's Walk

Every day a soul must walk

Laurie Works

MA., NCC, RYT, Somatic Witch

My Healing Recovery

Healing from the inside

The Sober Journalist

A blog about quietly getting sober

Sober Courage

from liquid courage to sober courage

Sober Grace

Finding and practicing grace in recovery

My Story

A Place to be Mindful a Place to Heal

TRUDGING THROUGH THE FIRE

-Postcards from The Cauldron

Momastery

...all those things we don't talk about in polite society

Mended Musings

Healing, Feeling, Thriving

Jack's BED

And Jill came tumbling after...

As Jim Sees It

These are things I've learned staying Sober.

recoverymaldives

Memoir of a Maldivian drug addict in recovery

turkeyboneheaven

Survivor of Child Abuse - Member in Recovery

Expatriation was easier as a broke college student

Smile! You’re at the best WordPress.com site ever

borough of lost boys

creative non-fiction. pursuit of truth.

Friending Myself

A sobering journey to greater love. For me. By me.

Sober Identity

#Life Coach #50+ Years #Striving #Thriving #Emerge: Growing From Addiction-Starter's Guide" #AfterRehabCoaching

Life Corked

Living Life One Day At A Time

Dorothy Recovers

An evolving tale of a new life in recovery

oncenaddict.org

A Place for Those Affected by Addiction

%d bloggers like this: