Lies My Disease Tells Me

As I’ll be spending all day downtown immersed in recovery, I thought I’d hand over today’s post to someone else’s work. I found this poem(?) sometime over the past couple years and came with no credited author. I have held on to it as it helps to determine which are those thoughts which come from the addict in my head that’s trying to kill me.

Lies My Disease Tells Me

Time is to be feared
This is never going to end
You are going to fail
You are going to succeed
You won’t like it
You are going to get hurt
You are going to feel too much
You are not going to feel anything
You don’t have what it takes
You need more
You are going to be left out
You are less than you think
You are smarter than everyone else
Nobody cares
Nobody understands you
It does not matter
It matters too much
Life is a battle
You have to win
You can never win
This is not enough
This is too much
You have to do something about this right now
You need something right now
You have too much of this
You’ve got to have it right now
You need to do more
You need to stop doing so much
You won’t be able to handle it
You have to do everything
You’re going to be surprised
You can’t keep it up
You’ve got to keep it up forever
You’re falling behind
You are too far ahead
It’s going to get worse
This is too good
You’re going to die
You’re going to keep living like this
I’m missing something

My name is Laurie and I am an alcoholic. I don’t have to be the only one who writes stuff about alcoholism. I don’t have to be the best at it… and some days I need to listen more than I speak.

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