You didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it.

(Because what would Alcohol Awareness Month be without acknowledging our Alanons?)

I read somewhere that it takes 6 people to support a person’s addiction – whether that be a mother who makes the car payment he drank away, the wife who calls in sick to her husband’s employer for him, the child who takes over running the house because mother is drunk, or even the friend who knows but keeps quiet. Unfortunately, I have no idea where I read that and can’t find it again. From my experience as an alcoholic and the wife of a drug addict, though, this rings very true.

Alcoholics get help or don’t in their own time (or in God’s time). This can be a very stressful time for those who love the alcoholic; time filled with fear, doubt, guilt, shame, hopelessness, etc. The most important thing for someone who finds them self in this position is to understand the three C’s – you didn’t cause it, you can’t control it and you can’t cure it. Even though it often feels like it, their addiction is not your problem to solve. If things get too bad, the best thing to do is to protect yourself by creating distance. Once the alcoholic burns the bridges to those who support him, he is faced with the prospect of seriously seeking help or drinking himself to death.

My name is Laurie and I am a double winner (alcoholic/alanon). I know the grim realities of this “family disease.” I know the pain of saying no to the addict in my life and the greater pain of hiding the truth and watching it tear your family apart. If you find yourself in this position, there is help.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Sociological Fragments

A blog offering excerpts of sociology-related texts.

"...write this..."

Reflections of a Preacher-Poet

Queen of Free

Save Money & Slay Debt

A Walk on the Wild Side

For those who love addicts


My blog to help me stop drinking.

What...Me Sober?

Stumbling along the Middle Path, one day at a time.

As if, Emily.

Diary of a teenage hedonist.


There are no coincidences.

Maggie Wilson Author

Historical Non-Fiction in Northern Ontario


Mixed-up, Mashed-up, Mished-up.


Crazy is relative. Just ask my relatives. And music!

Drunky Drunk Girl

A blog about getting sober

A Life Less Agitated...

Journeys, adventures, life, death, and finding my way

The Beggar's Bakery

"Christianity is one beggar telling another beggar where he found bread" - D. T. Niles


Another Kind of Perfect


How I Secretly Quit My Secret Habit of Secretly Drinking

A Soul's Walk

Every day a soul must walk

Laurie Works

MA., NCC, RYT, Somatic Witch

My Healing Recovery

Healing from the inside

The Sober Journalist

A blog about quietly getting sober

Sober Courage

from liquid courage to sober courage

Sober Grace

Finding and practicing grace in recovery

My Story

A Place to be Mindful a Place to Heal


-Postcards from The Cauldron


...all those things we don't talk about in polite society

Mended Musings

Healing, Feeling, Thriving

Jack's BED

And Jill came tumbling after...

As Jim Sees It

These are things I've learned staying Sober.


Memoir of a Maldivian drug addict in recovery


Survivor of Child Abuse - Member in Recovery

Expatriation was easier as a broke college student

Smile! You’re at the best site ever

borough of lost boys

creative non-fiction. pursuit of truth.

Friending Myself

A sobering journey to greater love. For me. By me.

Sober Identity

#Life Coach #50+ Years #Striving #Thriving #Emerge: Growing From Addiction-Starter's Guide" #AfterRehabCoaching

Life Corked

Living Life One Day At A Time

Dorothy Recovers

An evolving tale of a new life in recovery

A Place for Those Affected by Addiction

Heather Kopp

Words fail, but sometimes I try

%d bloggers like this: