Boats are better getaway vehicles on water than in Watertown

We got him! The second suspect in the Boston Marathon bombings was finally cornered in a boat in a Watertown, MA, backyard. Authorities were able to safely capture him alive and all is right with the world again. Chalk this one up as a win with a capital W.

But wait. The entire Boston area was on lockdown for pretty much a whole day before somebody finally pointed out, uh, dudes, we can’t just lock down a whole city, I mean, WTF? We’re calling these guys terrorists, right? And they managed to completely stop everything except for dudes with uniforms and firearms in one of our largest and most historically significant cities, right? How else do you define terror? I think they kind of accomplished their goal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, easy for you to say, sitting all comfy halfway across the country from where this is all going down. True. I am halfway across the country… just a couple hours away from where a small town was leveled by a fertilizer plant explosion… where, at this writing, 14 people are confirmed dead and 60 more are still unaccounted for. The webs are all abuzz about what is being done to help the victims of the attack in Boston, but aside from brief mentions of the Red Cross, I haven’t heard word one about assistance being provided to a whole town full of families sitting in the hospital, struggling to recover while mourning the loss of their homes, their friends… life as they knew it.

And us. The American people. When 9/11 struck, this country was united like never before… at least for a little while. This Boston attack has done just the opposite. It has revealed our true hateful natures. As soon as it happened, speculations and accusations were flying every which way. TV personalities saying “I hope it’s a white guy,” plenty more swearing up and down that it’s a right wing radical Tea Partier (which I still don’t understand, since Tea Party folks generally lean more toward the libertarian side, but whatever), half the country secretly “knowing” it’s another radical Islamic sect… Hell, I think I even heard Doc Brown blaming the Libyans! Then it comes out that they’re Chechens and oh, those dirty Chechens, they’re just evil… but um, actually, even though they may be of Chechen heritage, it seems they’re really not connected with that country at all.

So, yeah, it’s pretty cool that we’ve got this suspect in custody, and without any further loss of life. But what has it shown us about ourselves? And what has it cost us?

Oh, Rob, you gorgeous fool. If only you were right.

 

To put it lightly, it’s been a heavy news week. From IEDs in Boston, ricin-laced letters and last night’s explosion leveling a small town just north of Waco, Texas (just 2 days prior to the 20th anniversary of the Branch Davidian siege) to the US Senate voting against expanded background checks for firearms and reinstating the 1994 semi-automatic weapons ban… it’s like information overload. Right now, tempers are high because everywhere you turn you run into powerlessness. Confusion and fear leads to anarchy. No one knows what to do, and we wait for someone strong to make a stand so that we can follow their lead.

I have great admiration for first responders and medical professionals during these times and feel we could all learn from their example. While I sit stunned, staring at my TV saying “How could this happen?” hundreds of people statewide rush to the scene or man their stations in nearby hospitals so that they can be of service. For these individuals, there is no time to mourn, no time to search for a cause. There is only the need for action – to stop the hemorrhaging and salvage what they can. They must divorce themselves from their emotions and sacrifice themselves to be of service to those in their community. And they don’t do it for fame or recognition or to further a political agenda… they do it because it has to be done.

The closest I have come to being one of these first responders occurred in high school when one of my classmates attempted suicide (and from what I remember, she very nearly succeeded). While we were friendly, I was not close with her, though some of my friends were and they were greatly affected by the event. My then boyfriend and I spent the next couple of days consoling our friends, taking on their grief so it wasn’t so heavy on their shoulders alone. At the end of those days, we took a few minutes for ourselves so that we could decompress and we just sat and cried out all the pain of our friends. I felt like I was John Coffey with tears instead of illness.

In today’s world, where news becomes worldwide in a matter of moments, our heartstrings are played like fiddles. We ache with empathy for others and long to be of help somehow, but how? What do I do from here? In Boston, hospitals were turning away people wanting to give blood because they already had more than they could take. In the wake of the Sandy Hook massacre, so many toys were donated that the people of Sandy Hook had to rent out storage and then organize ways to donate the excess to others in need elsewhere. We don’t want to feel powerless. We WANT to help in any way we can. And many times we end up making very bad decisions in effort to assuage that burning desire to become someone’s John Coffey.

When we feel weak and powerless, we look to someone strong to lead. Hoping to find a General Honoré a la Katrina, instead we are greeted by celebrities and politicians flying in like Mighty Mouse: “Here I come to save the day!” Let me tell you right now: true heroes keep their heads down in times of trouble. True heroes get dirty when times are tough; they aren’t out there standing in the spotlight. Whenever I see an actor speaking up in times of tragedy, I wonder what new movie he’s got coming out. Even worse is finding a politician shaking his head over a deadly scene because next you know he’s going to use our pain to introduce new legislation. And we are all too eager to jump on board… all because we don’t know how we can help and here is someone who looks like he knows what he’s doing.

I commend the Senate, keeping their heads about them to make a tough decision during such distracting times. No matter how you feel about guns, this was a vote over legislation introduced in the wake of one of our worst tragedies in recent times… it was reactionary and based in fear. Today, as we imagine ourselves living in the “end times” because of such a heavy news week, many are outraged at this decision. My take is this: Good decisions are never made in haste or under emotional duress. Even the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing.

Stop looking to Hollywood and Washington when things get rough. Heroes and leaders will only be found in the trenches, not standing in the spotlight miles away. Don’t let these people decide where you stand and how you act. Better yet, be your own hero. Get down in the mess of it and become someone’s John Coffey. Once the dust has settled, we can talk about causes and solutions, but today we need to be surgeons with steady hands to excise the emotional wounds our neighbors have sustained. 

This is the world we live in

Last night, we talked about how we want to control our circumstances. We want to be loved, to be needed, to be obeyed. We want things to work out the way we would have them. Our kids will all grow up to be brain surgeons and marry good Christians and give us perfect grandchildren. Our spouse will not only be forever faithful, but he will shower us with love and attention, bringing home flowers and candy (which will magically not make us fat) every day. And no one we love will ever die or get sick or be sad EVER.

But we don’t live in that world.

I have been in recent communications with my ex regarding putting our children in a different school. Yesterday, we had scheduled to meet with the school that I would like to put them in. Roughly 15 minutes after we were supposed to meet, I texted him only to find out that not only was he all of a sudden not coming, but had apparently forgotten our whole month long conversation about exactly why their current school was no longer satisfactory. Typical. I said to myself, “I knew it. This is just exactly the kind of crap he would pull. He’s going to string me along and then decide last minute to do whatever he wants.” As the anger began to rise, I stopped and realized: “Yes, this IS exactly the kind of thing I have come to expect from him. So why on Earth should I be angry when he behaves the way I already know he will?” Immediately, the ire drained away and I pictured the worst possible outcome and asked myself if I would be okay with that. If I can accept the worst, then I can accept anything.

Sometimes life gives you worse than the worst, though. As I walked the halls, touring the school with the principal, she pointed out some of the ways that they have incorporated new methodologies, new technologies and new safety features to provide the best educational experience they can. She told me how they will do occasional spontaneous drills just like we used to do fire and tornado drills. These drills are different though. They have taught the children how to hide in case an armed assailant comes into the school and opens fire. The children learn how to immediately drop what they are doing and run for the closest, best cover no matter where they are. It’s like the world’s most terrifying game of hide and seek.

I looked at her in horror and she simply told me that these are things they have to think about now since Sandy Hook. And I know. I know that it is a good thing that this school is prepared, and these children know what to do if the unimaginable were to happen here. But I cry, God, why does it have to be like this? I just looked down and nodded, then told her what had happened in Boston, not an hour prior. Being in school all day, she had not yet heard the news. We shared a brief, “I can’t believe what is going on nowadays,” then continued on with the tour.

And all over the net, everyone’s talking about the latest atrocities. “Pray for Boston” memes are posted all over Facebook. People are posting photographs of the dead and injured before the families are even aware that their loved ones were hurt. The New York Times, in an effort to get out in front of the media frenzy, makes up false reports to make it seem even worse than it is. Then, of course, comes the politicizing. I don’t even want to know what they are saying, so I stopped looking.

But life goes on. We absorb these travesties, say a prayer, share a meme and keep moving forward. I don’t want to sound blasé about it, but even when faced with worse than the worst, we still live. I read an article that same morning about Anne Frank (and whether or not she would’ve been a Belieber – seriously?) and that is who I think about in the face of this terrorism. These sorts of things aren’t new. All throughout history, the most unimaginable horrors have been visited upon the human race. And still we live. We persevere in the face of adversity. Thousands of people got married yesterday… some in Boston, even. Hundreds of thousands of babies were born yesterday. Somewhere, a little girl received her first kiss and another heard the good news that her cancer was in remission. Even during times of tragedy, flowers of love and hope still bloom.

As Anne Frank made the most of her young life, I doubt she was joyful about her situation. I’m sure that anyone would’ve chosen a much different life for themself if they could. She didn’t bemoan the fact that she could not control her circumstances, throw a fit and make matters worse. She endured, and thrived, in her captivity and proved to us that it can be done. Life goes on, if we allow it. But first we must understand that we are not in control; that God has his hands on this life and even though we sometimes suffer, He will use our suffering to His Good. Whatever the circumstances, we cannot just lie down and die because things are inconvenient or unfortunate or tragic or unimaginably worse than the worst. This is the world we live in. It is not perfect. It is not how we would have it. But it is our world and we must learn to live in it.